Spend
a few moments going through these Top 10 Rich Lists
and just wonder what the hell you could do with just a fraction
of the billions of dollars these guys and gals have.
And
if your name is on one of these lists, I'd welcome any how-to-get-rich
tips you may like to share with my readers.
James
Taris
Founder of Rich-Bastards.com
BILLIONAIRE
JOKES
Before
You Meet With God
A
billionaire died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him
at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you meet with God,
I thought I should tell you -- we've looked at your life, and
your really didn't do anything particularly good or bad.
We're
not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything
you did that can help us make a decision?"
The
billionaire thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, once I
was driving along in my ferrari and came upon a woman who was
being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out
my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was
a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and
a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring
out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop
bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!"
"I'm impressed," St. Peter responded, "When did this happen?"
"About
two minutes ago," came the reply.
Heaven
Cafeteria
A
billionaire dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at
the Pearly Gates and checks him in.
After
he's registered, St. Peter says to him, "Look at the time: you
must be hungry! Heaven Cafeteria is serving lunch, why don't
you get yourself something to eat?"
The
billionaire goes to the cafeteria and notices the long line.
He immediately cuts in at the front, only to hear loud protests.
"I'm a billionaire" he says, "I'm a busy man, I don't have time
to wait in line."
The others say, "You're in heaven now, we're all the same here,
get to the back of the line and wait your turn!"
A
few weeks later, waiting patiently on line for lunch, the billionaire
notices a man come dashing in wearing a 3 piece suit and accompanied
by a 6 man entourage. He butts in at the head of the line and
no one utters a peep.
"Hey,"
he says to the guy in front of him, "Who does that guy think
he is?" "Oh, that's God," says the guy, "He likes to play billionaire."
Genie
With A Catch
A
guy found a bottle on the beach. He rubbed it and, sure enough,
out popped a genie.
"I
will grant you three wishes," said the Genie. "But there's a
catch." "What catch?" he asked.
The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every politician
in the world will receive double what you asked for."
"Well, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated
man.
"What
is your first wish?" asked the Genie. "Well, I've always wanted
a Ferrari," he said. POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the
man. "Now, every politician in the world has two Ferraris,"
said the genie.
"Next
wish?" "I'd love a billion dollars," replied the man. POOF!
One billion dollars appeared at his feet. "Now, every politician
in the world has two billion dollars," said the genie. "Well,
that's okay, as long as I've got my billion," replied the man.
"What
is your final wish?" asked the genie. The man thought long and
hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted
to donate a kidney."
VW
v. Rolls Royce
A man from
Texas, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a billionaire
in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and
he yells at the billionaire, "Hey, you got a telephone
in that Rolls?"
The billionaire
says, "Yes, of course I do."
"I
got one too... see?” the Texan says.
"Uh,
huh, yes, that's very nice."
"You
got a fax machine?" asks the Texan.
"Why,
actually, yes, I do."
"I
do too! See? It's right here!" brags the Texan.
The light
is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says,
"So, do you have a double bed in back there?"
The billionaire
replies, "NO! Do you?"
"Yep,
got my double bed right in back here," the Texan replies.
The light
turns and the Volkswagen takes off.
Well, the
billionaire is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately
goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed
in back of his Rolls.
About two
weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his Rolls
and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen beetle with
the Texas plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the
road, so the billionaire pulls his Rolls up next to it.
The windows
on the Volkswagen are all fogged up ...
(it's OK
to continue ... it's a clean joke.)
... and
he feels somewhat awkward about it, but
the billionaire gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps
on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.
The man
in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks
out.
The billionaire
says, "Hey, remember me?"
"Yeah,
yeah, I remember you," replies the Texan, "What's
up?"
"Check
this out...I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."
The Texan exclaims, "YOU GOT ME OUT OF THE SHOWER TO TELL
ME THAT!"
CLICK
HERE for more Billionaire Jokes
|

$
Warren
Buffet is the World Richest Man
Bill Gates slipped to third position
March 7, 2008
By Philip Fernando in Seattle for Asian Tribune
Seattle,
07 March, (Asiantribune.com):
The
richest man in the world is Warren Buffett
of Berkshire Hathaway Inc. USA. Bill Gates
co-founder of Microsoft had been the top most billionaire for
13 years is now third in the list. Second to Buffet is Mexico’s
techno-Mogul Carlos S Helu. Indian steel
entrepreneur Lakshmi Mittal was fourth
and one of four Indians in the top ten.
Buffett's
wealth grew $10 billion, to about $62 billion, in the 12 months
through February, mostly because of a gain in his company's shares,
Forbes said Wednesday. Indian steel entrepreneur Lakshmi Mittal
was fourth, the richest in Asia.
Brothers
Mukesh and Anil Ambani, whose father
founded the Reliance Group of companies, were fifth and sixth,
and Kushal Pal Singh, who heads property
developer DLF Ltd., moved up 54 spots, to eighth.
Bill
Gates' fortune rose $2 billion, to $58 billion, but he fell to
third on the list behind Mexican telecommunications magnate Carlos
Slim, who has an estimated net worth of $60 billion.
Forbes's
list shows wealth expanding in emerging markets around the globe,
with Russia overtaking Germany as the second-richest country and
70 percent of newcomers coming from Russia, India, China and the
U.S. In 2006, half of the top 20 billionaires came from the U.S.
This year, there were four Americans. Ikea founder Ingvar
Kamprad was seventh with $31 billion, making him
the list's top European, while Russia's richest man, Oleg
Deripaska, was ninth with $28 billion. Retired German
supermarket magnate Karl Albrecht was
10th with $27 billion.
$
Here's
something I stumbled across which made me laugh because it seemed
so appropriate for this site.
A
letter to "Rich Bastards" from a bank!
(From
New Scientist, 28 August 1993, Feedback column)
The
National Westminster Bank admitted last month that it keeps
personal information about its customers-such as their political
affiliation-on computer. But now Computer Weekly reveals that
a financial institution, sadly unnamed, has gone one better
and moved into the realm of personal abuse.
The institution decided to mailshot 2000 of its richest customers,
inviting them to buy extra services. One of its computer programmers
wrote a program to search through its databases and select its
customers automatically. He tested the program with an imaginary
customer called Rich Bastard.
Unfortunately, an error resulted in all 2000 letters being addressed
"Dear Rich Bastard". The luckless programmer was subsequently
sacked.
$
Billionaire
News and Tips ...
I
must admit that reseaching this information has been very enlightening,
and loads of fun. Here's a few things I came up with:
How
to Become a Billionaire by H. L. Hunt.
Wealth
building habits for kids by John D. Rockerfeller, Jr.
4
Tips (Trumpisms) from Donald Trump.
8
Wealth Building Secrets from J Paul Getty.
Billionaire
Revelations
(including):
Which
billionaire eats Happy Meals at McDonalds?
Which
billionaire used to drive a beat up car?
Which
billionaire paid $127 million for his London mansion?
The
Real Estate Billionaires
Who
was the highest paid English celebrity in 2004?
Who
are the 40 richest celebrities in the USA under 40?
Hollywood's
Richest Celebrities
$
How
to Become a Billionaire by H. L. Hunt
When H. L. Hunt was asked what does it take to become a billionaire
he said:
1. You must know what you really want.
2.
You must know what you are willing to sacrifice to get it. And
be willing to do what it takes to accomplish it.
3.
You must write it down.
Mr.
Hunt in the latter years of his life had a personal income of
over 5 million dollars a DAY. (He should know what he was taking
about.)
$
Wealth
building habits for kids by John D. Rockerfeller, Jr
According
to Nelson Rockerfeller, the one time Vice President of the United
States, his father John D. Rockerfeller, Jr, gave each of his
five sons an allowance "We got 25 cents a week, and had to
earn the rest of the money we got."
To
earn part of that extra money he raised vegetables and rabbits...
"We
always worked. All the boys were required to keep personal daily
account books. They were required to give 10 percent of their
income to charity, to save 10 percent, and to account for all
the rest."
They
had to balance their account books every month and to be able
to tell what happened to every penny they earned.
(From
the book, Kids and Cash
Ken Davis and Tom Taylor, 1979, Oak Tree Publications)
$
4
Tips (Trumpisms) from Donald Trump
Trumpism
#1: Making It Big
“I
like things big. I always have. To me, it’s very simple:
if you’re going to be thinking anyway, you might as well
think big.”
Trumpism
#2: Accentuate the Negative
“It’s
been said that I believe in the power of positive thinking. In
fact, I believe in the power of negative thinking. I happen to
be very conservative in business. I always go into the deal anticipating
the worst. If you plan for the worst – if you can live with
the worst – the good will always take care of itself.”
Trumpism
#3: Hiding Your Light Under A Bushel
"You
can have the most wonderful product in the world, but if people
don’t know about it, it’s not going to be worth much.”
Trumpism
#4: Show Me the Money
“Don’t
believe the critics unless they love your work.”
$
8
Wealth Building Secrets from J Paul Getty
Let
the Wealth Building Secrets of one of America's greatest and famous
Billionaire, J. Paul Getty inspire you to a great Achievement.
One
of the shortcuts to building wealth is to learn from those who
have achieved great wealth.
The
late Billionaire John Paul Getty was known as one of the greatest
wealth builders in American history.
He
was kind enough to distill his building wealth rules for anyone
who desires to amass wealth like him to follow.
Do
you want to be fabulously rich? Then learn from the master wealth
builder himself, and follow in his footsteps:
Building
Wealth Secret No. 1:
To
build wealth today, you must be in your own business.
You
may think that the corporate executive with a $100,000 salary
is better off than small shop owner, but the executive will be
hard-pressed to double his income and taxes will eat up most of
any increase.
The
simplest peanut vendor has unlimited opportunity to expand his
business and his income, and even salesmen, who in most cases
are able to write their own paychecks, can control his sale increases
himself.
Building Wealth Secret No. 2.
You
must have a working knowledge of the business when you start and
continue to increase your knowledge of it as you go along.
If
you don't know what you're doing when you start, your mistakes
will be costly and often unnecessary, and you won't be able to
keep up with the technological explosions in any field.
Start
smart and stay that way.
Building
Wealth Secret No. 3.
You
must save money in your personal life and in your business venture
as well.
Discipline
is the key to saving money. You must develop the will power to
deny yourself immediate gratification or the temptation to gamble
on the quick buck. Resources will be needed for expansion and
should be guarded carefully.
Building
Wealth Secret No. 4.
You
must take risks, both with your own money or with borrowed money.
Risk-taking
is essential to business growth.
Nelson
Bunker Hunt is admired for his guts in trying to corner the silver
market, not scorned for losing money on this deal.
Some
of the richest men have staked their entire fortunes and lost,
several times over, before the risk-taking paid off.
Back
those risks with good judgment, experience, commitment, And the
right support.
Seek
advice on risks from the wealthy who still take risks, not friends
who dare nothing more than a football bet.
Building
Wealth Secret No. 5.
You
must not only learn to live with tension, you must seek it out.
Thrive
on stress! If it means getting physically fit, having a psychiatric
overall or losing 50 pounds before you can handle it, do it.
Once
you can learn to thrive on stress, you will not only enjoy it,
you will seek it out willingly and enthusiastically and wonder
how you could live any other way.
Men
of means look at making money as a game which they love to play.
Consider
it serious business and you will suffer far more stress than you
need or want.
Keep
your perspective or your stress level will rocket beyond your
control.
Building Wealth Secret No. 6.
Build
wealth as a by-product of your business success.
If
wealth is your only object in business, you will probably fail.
Wealth
is only a benefit of the game. If you win, the money will be there.
If
you lose, and you will from time to time if you play long and
hard enough, it must have been fun or it was not worth it.
Building
Wealth Secret No. 7.
Patience.
This
is the greatest business asset. Wait for the right time to make
your moves.
Let
your business grow naturally, not by pressing your luck.
Building
Wealth Secret No. 8.
Diversify
at the top.
Once
you've made it, you'll understand that any business is limited
in the challenges it offers.
You'll
want and need other games to play, so you'll look for other ventures
to hold your interest.
James
Taris web sites
JamesTaris.com
LETS-Linkup.com
Rich-Bastards.com
Honey-BeeBooks.com
TheGloryOfAthens.com
TravelWithoutMoney.com
ChineseArt-ChineseArt.com
ShanghaiPhotoGuide.com
ShockProofMaterial.com
2pups.com
|
There
are
1,125
Billionaires in
56 Countries
in 2008.
(2007
- 946 billionaires)
|
| Rating-Country
|
| 1-USA |
469 |
| 2-Russia |
87 |
| 3-Germany |
59 |
| 4-India |
53 |
| 5-China |
42 |
| 6-Turkey |
35 |
| 7-UK |
35 |
| 8-Hong
Kong |
26 |
| 9-Canada |
25 |
| 10-Japan |
24 |
| 11-Brazil |
18 |
| 12-Spain |
18 |
| 13-Australia |
14 |
| 14-France |
14 |
| 15-Italy |
13 |
| 16-Saudi
Arabia |
13 |
| 17-South
Korea |
12 |
| 18-Switzerland |
11 |
| 19-Mexico |
10 |
| 20-Sweden |
10 |
| 21-Israel |
9 |
| 22-Malaysia |
8 |
| 23-Taiwan |
7 |
| 24-Lebanon |
7 |
| 25-Ukraine |
7 |
| 26-Ireland |
6 |
| 27-Kazakhstan |
6 |
| 28-Poland |
6 |
| 29-United
Arab Emirates |
6 |
| 30-Indonesia |
5 |
| 31-Netherlands |
5 |
| 32-Singapore |
5 |
| 33-Austria |
4 |
| 34-Chile |
4 |
| 35-Egypt |
4 |
| 36-Greece |
4 |
| 37-Kuwait |
4 |
| 38-New
Zealand |
4 |
| 39-Norway |
4 |
| 40-Portugal |
4 |
| 41-South
Africa |
4 |
| 42-Thailand |
3 |
| 43-Belgium |
2 |
| 44-Colombia |
2 |
| 45-Cyprus |
2 |
| 46-Iceland |
2 |
| 47-Philippines |
2 |
| 48-Romania |
2 |
| 49-Venezuela |
2 |
| 50-Argentina |
1 |
| 51-Belize |
1 |
| 52-Czech
Republic |
1 |
| 53-Denmark |
1 |
| 54-Monaco |
1 |
| 55-Nigeria |
1 |
| 56-Oman |
1 |
| TOTAL: |
1,125 |
MORE
BILLIONAIRE
JOKES
50cents
To Heaven
A
billionaire died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter
asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The
billionaire thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave
a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records,
and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true. Saint
Peter said, "Well , that's fine, but it's not really quite enough
to get you into Heaven."
The
billionaire said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago,
I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded
to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that
it was true.
Saint
Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest
we do with this fellow?" Gabriel gave the billionaire a sidelong
glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50
cents and tell him to go to Hell."
Be
Nice To Your Nurse
A
billionaire had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He
was a royal pain in the butt to the nurses because he bossed
them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital
staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
The
head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came
into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."
After
complaining for several minutes, the billionaire finally settled
down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No,
I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't
use an oral thermometer."
This
started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled
over and bared his backside.
After
feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, the billionaire heard
her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST
LIKE THAT until I get back!"
She
leaves the door to his room open on her way out. The billionaire
curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his
door, laughing.
After
a half hour, the billionaire's doctor comes into the room.
"What's
going on here?" asked the doctor.
Angrily,
the billionaire answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't
you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"
After
a pause, the doctor confesses, "Yes, but Not with a carnation."
CLICK
HERE for more Billionaire Jokes
|